8,900 likes. 25 comments. My phone buzzed for two days... Which made me remember why I do NOT want to be a social media influencer :)
But I wasn’t surprised that what I said resonated. I was just surprised by how many people seemed to be hearing it for the first time.
Here’s why this resonated.
When weight is the goal, it becomes the measure of success. Which means every time the scale doesn’t cooperate (and at some point, it won’t) the whole effort feels like failure. And this can be for both weight loss and weight gain efforts.
But when the behaviors are the goal:
Sleep hygiene
Stress and coping tools
Joyful, intentional movement
Eating patterns versus specific meals
Overall fatigue and energy
Lab values
Strength and fitness goals
How you actually feel in your body
Your relationship with food
The ability to be flexible with intake
(and the list can go on)
Those things can significantly shift health, even when weight doesn’t. And the research is pretty consistent: behavior-focused approaches tend to produce better adherence, better metabolic outcomes, and a whole lot less psychological stress over time (PMID: 32848906).
This isn’t me saying weight doesn’t matter or that your goals aren’t valid. I am just saying: weight is a lousy primary driver. It’s downstream of a lot of things you actually have more control over.
So what does this look like in practice?
It looks like a client who came in wanting to “lose 20 pounds” and left six months later with lower A1C, lower cholesterol, more energy, a consistent morning routine, and a healthier relationship with food (who also happened to lose some weight along the way, because the behaviors supported it).
It looks like stopping the thought pattern of “I’ll be healthy once I’m lighter” and starting with “what can I do today that my future self will thank me for.”
It looks like an athlete who came in wanting to optimize performance, got their fueling dialed in, started recovering faster, hit new PRs - and guess what, also happened to feel better in their body, because we never made their body the issue to begin with.
Most importantly, it looks like working with someone who actually understands the difference.
If this landed for you, that’s probably a signal worth paying attention to. My calendar is open for welcome calls, which is a no pressure 1:1 conversation about what you’re struggling with and whether I’m the right fit.
If you want more of this kind of content (i.e., an evidence-based, no-BS, expert perspective) follow on my social media (icons below). And forward this to someone who needs it.
See you next week, Reader,
P.S. If you have a teen in your life (or work with them) I have a free webinar coming up on May 18th specifically for families navigating early signs of disordered eating. The heart of it: What I Wish My Parents Had Known, inspired by a brave student who fully recovered and wanted to pay it forward. This is one of the most important conversations I think we can have right now. Spots are limited. Register here or click below.
I am also attaching the PDF flyer here, Understanding Eating Disorders.pdf, if you wanted to print it out and circulate. This is open to anyone to make it as accessible as possible. Thank you!
